My Range Rover’s better than yours.

Lately it seems that “celebrity” is one massive competition. Who has the fiercest Birkin? Who got spotted in the hottest new club? Who has a new crappy, self-indulgent autobiography out? Who is driving the latest Range Rover? Who just released another fragrance that smells like a unicorn vomited everywhere?

It’s the hottest people competing with each other for a coveted spot in the trashy magazines that we all love to read (and we’re talking about the front section of the magazine, once you’re shoved to the back of OK Magazine you know your career is on the slide).

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a hideously scripted reality show just as much as the next person, but aren’t we all getting a little sick and tired of the same old talentless idiots that are attacking us at all angles? Everywhere I look there is a new show, or a new exercise DVD, or worse yet a new book. I mean, these people can’t even read let alone write a book!

Whatever happened to talent? I have so many friends who have more talent in their little finger nail than these so called celebrities who bombard us with their crass language and orange skin. Quite frankly there needs to be a shake up, because if I have to watch another episode of Made In Chelsea or Jersey Shore I am going to throw myself in front of a London bus.

But luckily for my friends and I we possess skills and talent from years of training as dancers, actors, singers and models. Let’s be honest, the clock is ticking on the celebrity and reality TV era, so the rest of us continue to go on with our fabulous lives and wait for our turn to be celebrated. Just remember: If it were easy, everybody would be doing it. It is persistence and determination that will get you to the top, just be prepared to fight when you’re up there because the bitch who holds the crown won’t give it up easily.

And finally, I’d like to take a moment to dedicate this article to my two fabulous models, Peter and Katie. Forever fierce and fabulous, always hard working and professional, and let’s be honest bloody gorgeous too.

Watch out world, here we come.

 

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